When trying to get your ex back, a mistake people often make is to say I'm sorry a hundred times. Even though it doesn't work, we keep hoping they'll take us back.
Instead of apologizing repeatedly, there are better things to do to get your ex back. First, don't apologize if you did nothing wrong. If you ex left because they drifted apart from you, apologizing would make you sound pathetic.
Next, if you did something wrong that you need to apologize for, that's a good thing to understand. To get your ex back, you need to understand what caused the break, and if it was something you did, you better be ready to apologize for it.
However, before you apologize, you need to do a few things first or your apology wont work. Lets say you had an affair and that's why you lost your ex. You definitely did something wrong! But don't go saying I'm sorry a hundred times. It wont work. Trust has been broken. Betrayal has been experienced by your ex.
Instead of rushing in and saying I'm sorry, start by admitting what you did wrong. Your ex needs to know that you understand you did wrong. So own up to it. Do not justify or try to explain yourself.
Then, help your ex to resolve their feelings of mistrust and betrayal. The way to do this is get them to vent. To get their feelings off their chest. So ask them how they feel about what happened, and then shut up and listen. Be a good listener. This helps them to release and begin to resolve their bad feelings.
Take both of those steps first and you are way ahead of the ball game. After you admitted you did wrong and heard their feelings about it, they can hear you. Now your apology can be heard and accepted.
So if your ex deserves an I'm sorry, make it a powerful one. And do that by letting your ex vent and letting your ex hear you own up to what you did wrong. That way, you may be able to get your ex back in hours or a few days rather than waiting months hoping they'll cool down and forgive you.
Instead of apologizing repeatedly, there are better things to do to get your ex back. First, don't apologize if you did nothing wrong. If you ex left because they drifted apart from you, apologizing would make you sound pathetic.
Next, if you did something wrong that you need to apologize for, that's a good thing to understand. To get your ex back, you need to understand what caused the break, and if it was something you did, you better be ready to apologize for it.
However, before you apologize, you need to do a few things first or your apology wont work. Lets say you had an affair and that's why you lost your ex. You definitely did something wrong! But don't go saying I'm sorry a hundred times. It wont work. Trust has been broken. Betrayal has been experienced by your ex.
Instead of rushing in and saying I'm sorry, start by admitting what you did wrong. Your ex needs to know that you understand you did wrong. So own up to it. Do not justify or try to explain yourself.
Then, help your ex to resolve their feelings of mistrust and betrayal. The way to do this is get them to vent. To get their feelings off their chest. So ask them how they feel about what happened, and then shut up and listen. Be a good listener. This helps them to release and begin to resolve their bad feelings.
Take both of those steps first and you are way ahead of the ball game. After you admitted you did wrong and heard their feelings about it, they can hear you. Now your apology can be heard and accepted.
So if your ex deserves an I'm sorry, make it a powerful one. And do that by letting your ex vent and letting your ex hear you own up to what you did wrong. That way, you may be able to get your ex back in hours or a few days rather than waiting months hoping they'll cool down and forgive you.
About the Author:
You can learn more about this and the other Immediate Reconnect Strategies to get your ex back in a book about How To Get Your Love Back In One Day. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights They Never Taught You here at Love Advice Secrets.
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